Currenlty..

• My Fri3nd & R3Lativ3---Ch3w LinG

I feel so worry bout her...
It's so UNFAIR...
Her father jz passed away 99 days ago...
Why GOD have to take her mum away also...
It's so UNFAIR...
She did nothing wrong in her life...
She don't deserve to get all this suffer...
-HOP3 SH3 CAN STAY STRONG-

• STPM

Today I sms to wish good luck to f3w fri3nds that I tak3 th3m as fri3nd...
But sadly what they r3ply m3 was "Who Are You"...
I hav3 to 3xplain on3 by on3 that I'm James's Ex...
WTH..
If I jz tell them my nam3..
I will 3nd up hav3 to explain one more tim3..
Cuz they will reply "who are you" again...
I don't want to liv3 under HIS nam3..!!
Why nobody can rememb3r my nam3.....
N3ver mind...
But I also got feelings wan you know...
Whatever...
GOOD LUCK STPMers..
-HOP3 YOU PPL CAN REMEMBER M3 FOR WHO I AM-

Sorry..

Nowadays she really dont know what exactly she's doing...
She feel so confusing sometime untill she will become very emo in a sudden...
She feel like she can just simply like a guy this minute and dont like him next minute...
Why and when she become so confusing...
She still remember the her she know always do whatever she like...
Always just do it when she had decided...
And she always can just decide by herself...
But why now everything she have to be worry before she make a decision...
She will concern about every single consequences...
Since yesterday till now she had an ache on the right side of her waist..
Its so freaking pain...
Even just now she went out she dont dare to tell that she feel very pain..

Sorry to all her friends that always stand by her side support her
Sorry to ppl she had hurt recently
Sorry to her parents that she made them worried about her so much...
-SORRY-

Mid-term is around the corner...
Pls concentrate KoaLa...
Dont think of relationships can anot..??
Where is the determination of yours..??
Dont be so lazy...
You are a KoaLa not PiG..!!

-KoaLa-

Its Not Worth It...

Its not worth to LOVE someone like ME...
Its not worth to WAIT someone like ME...
Its not worth to be UNHAPPY because of someone like ME...
Its not worth to WASTE your TEARS because of someone like ME...

Wake up...

You know that your condition you can find someone better than ME...
You realise that rite..??
You know deep down in your HEART...
You know that my condition does not allow to ME to LOVE u...
You should know that my condition don't allow me to give u HAPPINESS..
You know that if I accept u with my condition like this now, in the end u will SUFFER...

Please don't do stupid things because of ME...

I cant even control my feelings nowadays..
What am I good in is not other than just CRY...
I am good in SADNESS...
I am good in HURTING YOU...
I am good in MAKING PPL AROUND ME SAD...

I am USELESS....
I just can put my effort on how to make ppl around me HAPPY...
But I don't have the ability to make myself HAPPY...
I don't even know what is HAPPY...
Because I feel NOTHING...
I feel EMPTY...
Can say FEELINGLESS...

I feel GUILTY everytime after see-ing your facebook post...
More GUILTY as days pass...
Don't ever change the REAL you to the person I don't know..
I feel SAD everytime I realise I RUIN your life RUIN your personalities..
Making u LOST...

If u saw my post...do remember LOVING someone should be something HAPPY...
LOVING someone shouldn't be something suffer...
Whats the point...if u LOVE me but u are sad...
I really hope I can see SMILEY on your face..=)

-PLEASE..you know who I'm talking bout here-

-The girl who appreciate u very much-

If And Only If...

Monsoon season...
I Love It When it Rains...
I Love to be Under The Rain...

I Love the breeze from the Monsoon Season...

If from the start she din't step in ppl's life...
There may not be so much sadness or suffer...
If she refuse earlier...
Maybe ppl wont be this sad now...
If she knows what she want earlier...
Ppl won't the suffer this much now...
She hope to be alone...
She rather be alone...
Than to hurt ppl's feelings...
Than to bring sadness to ppl...
What if from the start she doesn't exist in this world...
Would it be better..??
What if she is not born in this world...
Will it reduce mayb not all bt part of all the disaster...
What if from the start everyone hate me...
Would everyone be more happy..??
If the existence of her cause so much trouble to ppl...
She rather she disappear from now..
This moment..
From here...
From this world...

-Forever-

It means nothing to her if ppl around her doesn't feel happy..
It means nothing to her if her parent do not have the smile on their face...
It means nothing to her if every friend of her having unsolved problems..

She hope...
She really hope that ppl around her is happy...
She really hope to have a look at he smile of her parent's face...
She wants to see smile on each face of her friends...
She really hopes...

-KoaLa-

How Silly Am I..

Sh3 is being very tir3d lat3ly...
The tired she's b3ing through was mentally..
Sh3 don't even know how could she b3 so tir3d..
Sh3 thought she could go HOM3 to have a r3st...
Sh3 thought sh3 can go TC 2moro morning with her buddies...
Just to meet them and hav3 some study together becaus3 th3y ar3 having 3xam...
She thought sh3 can have a talk with her mum that she miss3d badly...
She even wish to hug her mum for a moment...
Even if its just 5 minutes..
She hop3 to see th3 smil3 on her dad's face...
The face that will always fulfill what her daughter wished...
Today she went to Melaka Sentral alone with hope...
Th3 journey as usual about one hour...
And cam3 back with disappoinment...
She wasted 2 hours to go that stupid bus station...
On her grueling way in bus to Melaka Sentral..
What pop up in her mind was just her buddies and parents...
How bad she hope to just see them smile...
She hold her tears that roll in her eye for her grueling moment way back to her apartment...
In that bus she hated so much again...
She don't car3 how hot the weather how dirty is the bus how tired is she...
She still wanna go HOM3...
She don't dar3 to ask her friends to fetch...
3ven how much she hate to take the bus...
The next second after she put back her luggage in her room...
Her tears burst again like a baby...
She hate herself being so weak nowadays...
She herself being sad and emo recently...
She hate it...
After a talk on phone with her mum...
She feel a bit better...
Later her dad called her..
Even just a few words...
She knows that her dad is missing and worried about her...
And he was busy so he hang up...
He even think of coming all the way to Melaka just to fetch me back..
She don't want to trouble them...
So she just refused...
In her heart she really hope to go HOM3..
But she also scared that after going hom3...
She wont even want to come back and study...

-SMILE IS HER HOPE NOW-

-KoaLa =( -

Innocence By Avril Lavigne

Waking up I see that everything is ok
The first time in my life and now it's so great
Slowing down I look around and I am so amazed
I think about the little things that make life great
I wouldn't change a thing about it
This is the best feeling

This innocence is brilliant, I hope that it will stay
This moment is perfect, please don't go away, I need you now
And I'll hold on to it, don't you let it pass you by

I found a place so safe, not a single tear
The first time in my life and now it's so clear
Feel calm I belong, I'm so happy here
It's so strong and now I let myself be sincere
I wouldn't change a thing about it
This is the best feeling

This innocence is brilliant, I hope that it will stay
This moment is perfect, please don't go away, I need you now
And I'll hold on to it, don't you let it pass you by

It's the state of bliss you think you're dreaming
It's the happiness inside that you're feeling
It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry

It's the state of bliss you think you're dreaming
It's the happiness inside that you're feeling
It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry

It's so beautiful it makes you want to cry

This innocence is brilliant, it makes you want to cry
This innocence is brilliance, please don't go away
Cause I need you now
And I'll hold on to it, don't you let it pass you by

This innocence is brilliant, I hope that it will stay
This moment is perfect, please don't go away, I need you now
And I'll hold on to it, don't you let it pass you by

EmO..

She really miss tat specific someone...
Although how bad is him....
She hate to say tat she really miss him...
She hate herself for loving someone too much...
Till she lost herself...
Somehow nowadays are getting better though...
Just sometimes...
Sometimes...
Please don't blame her for being EMO...
She don't even realize how EMO can she be now...
Please don't blame her for loving someone so much...
That's not the ending she wanted...
That's not the fairy tale she expected...
She know there is no fairy tales in real life...
She just gave it a try...
And proven that fairy tales really doesn't exist in the real life..
Please don't blame for being sad all the time...
This is not what she wanted...
Please give her some time to treat her broken heart...
Give her some time to take a break...
Give her some chance to breath the fresh air...
She knows that life is not about him only...
She is trying to get up..
And be confident when she say she is alright...
Not the her who always faking herself telling people she is fine...
I hate to say...

-I REALLY MISS HIM-

-KoaLa Be Happy =) -

I Miss U...><

When U R Missing Somone,

U Will Jz Wanna Scream Out Loudie.

I MISS YOU

I MISS YOU

I MISS YOU

I MISS YOU

I MISS YOU

-I MISS EACH N EVERYONE OF THEM-

-KoaLa Miss You-

Weekend Shoots [DaY n NiT3]

ViEw Of
DaY n NitE
FrOm My BaLcOnY
DuRiNg
LaSt
BeAuTiFuL We3KeNdz..

[p/s Giv3 som3 comm3nt bout th3 pic..TQ]

-KoaLa-

Randoooom....^^

My New Laundry Basket....

Isn't Lady Buggy Cute..??

-KoaLa <3 Lady Buggy-

Consequences..

Now even the blue skies cant bring me happiness...
Wherever I go I jz dont want ppl to recognise me...
As if I did something really wrong...
Tat I dont wan ppl to knw me...

Ever since tat day...
Tat incidence...
Ppl saying many things bhind me..
Do u all really knw me..??
Y u all can jz simply spit out wat kind of gurl I am..??
Wat if I dunno u n i simply accuse u wat u r not...??
Do u all really think bout ppl's feeling..??
Even a gurl tat I alwiz take her as a best fren criticize me...
I feel so hurt...

Wat I did wrong...??
Since tat day...
U all never treat me as a fren...
I knw u all knw him more than me...
Understand him more than me...
Bt I tot I'm also one of ur fren..??
Izzit jz my thinking??
Izzit jz I'm the only treating u all as fren..??

I dont mind u all dont treat me as fren...
I never regret knwing u all....
Cuz everytime I feel sad after hang out with u all...
I feel happier...
Every sec every min I spend with u all...
Wat I remember was jz happy...
Joyful...
Comfortable...
Joking...
Mayb I'm the one all the while jz tot u all are my frenz...

Thx to Lydiana who alwiz trying to cheer me up...
She accompany me almost everytime when she is free...
<3 Darling...
Hehe...

-In any wan I hope u all alwiz happy-

-Jamie who wish forgiveness-

The Day I Bcome Bad Ppl...

Blue skies...
Since when I started to Lov3 the blue skies...
Izzit the day I came bck from my home twn...?
Since I came bck to Melaka...
I alwiz look to the sky when I walk out from my apartment to campus...
Cuz tat will make me happy make me feel closer to my home twn...

Cruel at the same time...
Since when I bcome cruel to ppl tat cared bout me...
Izzit the day I started to feel happy after all the scene of my broke up disappear..?
Izzit at the same time I started dont appreciate wat a guy tat care bout me did to me..?

On 13th Of Oct 2009...
I broke n hurt someone's heart badly...
He had been treating me gud ever since my broke up...
About 4 months till today..

Since the day my heart broke by my x...
I clearly knw how is it the feeling of pain in heart...
N now I'm doin the same thing as my x ; Tat is broke someone's heart...
If like tat wat is the thing tat differentiate me n my x...
Isnt it jz the same...?

I am really sorry tat I cant accept u...
I hope I wont lose u as my fren...
U had accompanied me till now..
Till I realize wat I want n found bck myself...
I knw I hurt u badly...
I'm not worth for u to be sad...
I'm sorry...

[P/s : Hope u will alwiz b happy as usual...=)]

-KoaLa aKa Jamie-

BaD LuCk...

Today go out YC with my buddies...
2.40 pm go n fetch Bearz from SABS gate...
Tat Bearz keep chat n chat with fren...
So wat did I do...
Horn her la..
XD
Wakaka...[evil]

Then reach Phin Ru..
No parking then jz park bside old twn lo..
Bt the prob is tat is not a proper parking lot...
B4 get dwn the car kena frightened by Anne...
LoLzz...
So jz get out from car n YC lo...

When YC almost ended Hippo oni join us..
B4 she came my left eye make me uncomfortable..
In chinese is "Yan Pi Tiao"
Bt then I dint bother much...

Then as I jz step out from tat YC place I saw the guy I knw from FS...
Scary la...
Tat day saw him at ECM...
Today saw him again...
Worse still when I walk to my car...
Kena saman somemore...
Bad luck...
Haiz...
Then go pay the saman money...
RM 20 fly away...
I jz use RM1.70 for YC...
Suddenly lost RM 20...
Heart pain...

Tat is for today...
Btw still happy can go YC with them...

-KoaLa-

Random me..

Raining as monsoon s3ason is arriving...
My mood still as usual...
Ntg chang3d...
Same as monsoon coming..
Now 3ven goin bck kuantan can hav3 bck th3 happy f33Ling of min3..
I jz cam3 bck from kuantan n bt ntg mak3s m3 bett3r...
I cant control mys3Lf..
I dunno who am I...
I cant hid3 my sadness...
I cant control my feelings anymor3...
till I 3ven suddenly cry infront my mum...
Wh3n sh3 ask m3 y...
I jz can say I cry cuz of 3xam pressur3...
In fact is not only tat...
Many many things is hidding in my h3art...
I cant say out...
I must not...
Or els3 it may hurt ppl's f33Ling...

-SORRY FOR LETTING MY PARENTS N FRENZ WORRIED BOUT ME-

-Som3on3 Tat LooSing H3rs3Lf-